25. March 2026

By Jenny Kuemmel | Momma Drama & Trauma

There are moments in life where something shifts inside of you.

Not because someone told you to change. Not because of something you read. But because you finally see something clearly that you can no longer ignore.

This was one of those moments for me.

For a long time, I thought boundaries were about other people.

What I would tolerate.
What I would accept.
What I would walk away from.

And while those things matter, what I have come to realize is that some of the most important boundaries I have ever had to learn have nothing to do with anyone else.

They have everything to do with me.

With how I show up for myself.
With how often I ignore what I need.
With how easily I put myself last without even realizing it.

Reflection

When I really sat with this, I had to be honest with myself in a way I had not been before.

I had to look at the patterns I kept repeating.
The ways I kept showing up.
The ways I was overriding what I felt just to keep things moving.

And I realized something that was hard to admit.

I was not just reacting to my life.

I was participating in the ways I was losing myself in it.

The Story

For years, my focus was on everyone else.

My kids.
My husband.
My home.
Everything that needed to be done.

Making sure everyone was taken care of felt like the most important thing.

As long as they were okay, I believed I was doing what I was supposed to do.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped checking in with myself.

I stopped asking what I needed.
I stopped making time for the things that made me feel like me.

Reading, writing, journaling, even just having quiet time to myself, all of that slowly disappeared.

It did not happen all at once.

It happened little by little, over time, until it became normal.

And I did not question it, because that was the life I knew.

The Emotional Truth

The hardest part of this healing process has been looking at myself honestly.

Not just what I went through, but how I showed up in it.

There were times where I stayed quiet when I needed to speak.
Times where I shut down instead of opening up.
Times where I held things in because I did not want to be judged or seen differently.

And in doing that, I hurt myself.

Not intentionally, but I did.

That is not something easy to admit.

It is easier to focus on what was done to us.

But part of healing is being honest about the ways we showed up too.

When I look back at that version of me now, I do not feel anger.

I feel sadness.

And I feel compassion.

Because she knew something was not right.

She just did not know how to change it yet.

Educational Insight

Self abandonment is not always obvious.

It does not always look like one big moment.

More often, it looks like small, repeated choices.

Staying quiet when something does not feel right.
Overgiving until you are exhausted.
Putting yourself last so often that it starts to feel normal.

Over time, those patterns create distance between you and yourself.

And eventually, you may find yourself feeling disconnected without fully understanding why.

Recognizing those patterns is not something to fear.

It is the beginning of awareness.

And awareness is where change starts.

Solutions and Guidance

This is not about fixing everything all at once.

It starts with small, honest moments.

Checking in with yourself.
Noticing when something feels off.
Allowing yourself to pause instead of pushing through automatically.

It looks like paying attention to your needs and actually listening to them.

It looks like honoring your limits instead of overriding them out of habit.

It looks like creating space for yourself again, even in simple ways.

There is no perfect way to do this.

There is only a willingness to be honest and to start showing up differently, one moment at a time.

Recommended Supports

Books

The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest
Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Articles

“What Is Self Abandonment and How to Stop Doing It”
“How to Reconnect With Yourself After Emotional Burnout”

Podcasts

The Mel Robbins Podcast
On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Final Thoughts

You do not lose yourself all at once.

It happens slowly, in the moments where you ignore what you feel or need.

But you can find your way back the same way. Slowly.

By noticing.
By being honest.
By choosing to show up for yourself again.

That is where change begins.

Closing Connection

If you are starting to see yourself more clearly, do not rush past that.

Stay there for a moment.

Let yourself feel it without judgment.

Because that awareness is not something to fear.

As Always
You are strong.
You are worthy.
And your story matters.
Until next time, take care of you. 💗

It is something to sit with.

That is where real healing begins.