14. April 2026

By Jenny Kuemmel | Momma Drama & Trauma

Forgiveness sounds simple until you are the one who has to live it.

Until you are sitting in the middle of heartbreak, betrayal and confusion, trying to figure out what it even means. Trying to understand if you should forgive, when you should forgive or if you ever even can.

The truth is, forgiveness is not what most people think it is. And it is not something that happens overnight.

The Story

In the beginning, I thought forgiveness meant staying.

I thought it meant fixing things, making it work and doing whatever I needed to do to keep my family together. I believed that if I could forgive fast enough, we could move on from it. Like it was just a bump in the road.

So I held everything in. I did not want people to know what was happening because I thought if we worked things out, I did not want the judgment or opinions. I just wanted my life back the way it was.

At the same time, my body was going through something I had never experienced before.

I was in survival mode. Just barely getting through each day.

Because if I was not in survival mode, I don't think I would have gotten out of bed. I don't think I would have functioned at all.

Then the anger came.

The realization of what had actually happened. The betrayal. The lies. The way my kids’ lives were changed forever because of one decision.

That is when forgiveness did not feel hopeful anymore. It felt impossible.

I remember thinking I would never forgive him. Especially watching how quickly everything moved between him and the other woman. The trips, the money, the life they were building while we were still trying to understand what had just been broken.

It felt like the hurt never stopped.

And I remember thinking, how could I ever forgive this?

The Emotional Truth

Forgiveness is not one moment.

It is not a switch that flips. It is layered, emotional and constantly changing depending on where you are in your healing.

There was a time when I thought forgiveness meant pretending everything was okay.

There was a time when I thought forgiveness meant saying what happened was okay.

There was a time when I did not want to forgive at all.

Now, forgiveness looks completely different.

I have forgiven him. I have moved on. I do not carry the same anger I once did.

But when it comes to my kids, there are still moments that feel heavy. I feel like they are expected to just get over it and move on like nothing ever happened and I don't know that they ever fully will.

Their lives were changed forever.

Forgiveness does not erase that.

Educational Insight

Forgiveness is often misunderstood.

It is not about the other person. It is about you.

It is about your peace, your freedom and your ability to move forward without being controlled by what someone else did to you.

Forgiveness does not mean:

what happened was okay
you have to trust again
you have to let someone back into your life

Forgiveness means:

you are choosing to release the hold that pain has on you
you are choosing not to live in bitterness
you are choosing yourself

And that takes work.

Solutions and Guidance

If you are struggling with forgiveness right now, here is what I want you to know.

You do not have to rush it.
You do not have to force it.
You do not have to forgive on anyone else’s timeline.

You have to make this decision. Only you can.

Start by asking yourself:

Why do I want to forgive
What am I holding onto
What would letting go give me

As long as you are living in bitterness toward that person, you are not living for yourself.

You are still living for them.

And you deserve more than that.

Recommended Support

Books

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Letting Go by David R. Hawkins
Forgiving What You Cannot Forget by Lysa TerKeurst

Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

Support Tools

Journaling your thoughts and emotions daily
Guided meditation focused on release and healing
Setting boundaries that protect your peace

Final Thoughts

Forgiveness is not about becoming okay with what happened.

It is about becoming okay with yourself again.

It is about finding your way back to who you are without carrying the weight of what someone else did to you.

Closing Connection

If you are in the middle of this right now, you are not alone.

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.

You are in it. And that matters.

As Always
You are strong.
You are worthy.
And your story matters.
Until next time, take care of you. 💗

Forgiveness is where you choose your peace.